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Hey all I am so greatful to have this site.Please dont judge me as that is not what I am looking for.I just would like some support.My husband has been working 28/28 for the last 10 years.I am 100% fine when he is offshore but it is when they have to go into town and stay at the staff house is where my hell starts.He is in Nigera.When it comes down to it I trust him.But when they start the drinking on the weekends thats when I start to get pissy and down right angry.I know as well as anyone when people drink people tend to do things they normaly would not do.If he is not drinking I am fine.Just like all the other women on here I hear about the (other guys messing with the hookers).I mean if its not my husband and its not the other ones who are saying the samething then whos husband is it lol.Do yall know what I mean?I dont go out when he is gone.I know how he feels about that and I dont want to disrepect his wishes.Like right now we are dealing with this just yesterday he got drunk and now Im pissed he says im sorry bla bla bla and today hung over and wants to nap.That p***** me off.Am I wrong? Please give me some feed back.If the stupid drinking wasent involved I would not have a problem.I am an oilfield brat this is the only like I have ever known.Hubby and I have 3 girls together 11/7/5 been together 15 years married 14yr.He is my bestfriend my lover my everything.This is the only problem we have if it wasent for this we would have the perfect marriage if there evr was such a thing.Thankd ladys for hearing me vent.
Tina

Tags: advice, good, needing, sound

Views: 883

Replies to This Discussion

Hookers?????
Yea girl hookers hang out at the hotels when they fly in they stay at hotel till they get on th chopper to go out to the rig they also let the whores in at the staff house from time to time.I almost wish I didnt know.My husband has told me about differnt guys who are married that pay for there services it makes me sick at my stomic.
I know which guys is it that's doing this stuff.... the guys who are single, immature or unhappy at home. If you and your husband have a healthy marriage, then you have to trust him. It may be the fact that he's so far away, plus he gets to twist off and you don't, plus you can't 'physically see' what's going on. That new country and western song really says it.... 'who are you when I'm not looking'...... and that's going both ways..... are they this sweet, trustworthy guy or are they one of the ones out of control? You know your husband best - Is he one of the ones who tends to get out of control? If not - then you gotta give him faith and trust. Does he do it ALL the time? If not- then you gotta give him faith and trust. See what I'm saying? Sometimes, (not that we don't want them to unwind, and not that we don't want them to be able to have a beer to relax, and not that we don't want to have a little bit of fun when they can) But it is that we are not a part of this part of their life and if feels unfair. And from this weird, "but I don't go out without you" kinda of way - it hurts a little to think they are having this big ole blast, making memories, etc and we aren't a part of that. Bottom line is, do you trust him? If you do, then this *should* be a non-issue for you and him... and if it's trying to make itself an issue, then you have to take control of it and determine if you're gonna let this one thing cause a riff between you and him. If you don't know for certain that there are not any hookers there, then you have to dismiss that thought - if you know for certain that he only drinks as a social thing and he's not the type to get out of control - then you've got no reason to worry and it's just your imagination (and the insecurity that comes with being alone all the time) that's getting to you.
Hope I've helped.
Yes you have helped alot.Thank you so much for a great responce.Yes I know for sure about the hookers lol.I dont go out with out him because he would have a cow.Im fine with the few beers to relax that is pretty much standard dureing the week.It is the weekends when it is drink till you drop kinda deal. I hate being this way! When they do drink on the weekends then he turns into a jurk.Thats when the imagination takes on a whole life of its own.The sober man I trust 110% its the drunk man I am unsure of.Do you know what I am trying to say? Thanks again.
Tina
Because you know for sure there are hookers involved and around when they're having their drinking weekends --- then hell yeah, it's perfectly understandable that it would make you uncomfortable and unsure. I think no one can feel or blindly give complete trust to a drunk jerk, regardless of how good he is when he's sober.
Yep, I get it completely. And bless your heart.
It feels a lot like injustice when we give them a level of respect that we don't feel like they are giving back to us. That just hurts your heart.
But in some ways we have to decide to not let the reputation of the cheaters rub off on our husband's reputation. We cannot assign guilt before they do anything wrong - (but Gah!, how we wish we could be a fly on the wall sometimes.) I pray that part of that 110% trust will carry over to the drunk jerk and you two will be okay. I'm soooo sorry you're having to deal with this.
I am glad to see I am not the crazy one lol.You guys are so helpful to me.I cant tell you how greatful I am to have support from others who understand 100% what it is like to live this way.Not everyone knows what this is like till you live it.I have some friends who say how lucky I am for him to be gone and then some say that they could never live this way. We have lived this way for 10 years and for the most part I am used to it but when they go to town I just friggen hate it.When he is offshore no prob cake walk and he even flys through Amsterdam and I dont even have a problem there and he is there some times 6 or 7 hr.I think I just need to get a life of my own so i am not so focused on him my life evolves around him and the kids.But im sur if I do get a life of my own then th tables will be turned and I will hear about it.Damned if I do and Damned if I dont lol.By the way I was born and raised in Odessa lol I see you are from Midland small world
Thanks Oliviea for the responce.I am glad to see Im not the only one who feels this way.
I think at some point we all have that feeling. My husband normally doesn't go out drinking very often because then he would have to be ok with me doing it (and that is never going to happen lol). When he does go though I worry and get mad (due to the fact there is no way I can do that and it not cause a problem) but then I remember that he is not like some of the others. Most of the time he goes out with guys that I myself know and know that they would let me know in a heart beat if something is up. In the patch we are all family is some way or another and not only do the guys look out for each other but some look out for the wives and children of those guys. I guess after all these years I have just come to the desicion that he is going to be faithfully or not...whether he works close to home or not. I know that is kind of a harsh way to put it but this is how I feel. My husband feels the same because he worries about what I am doing just as much as I worry about him. I guess that is one of the things that helps us work together so well. Communication has been what helps us get through the stupid thoughts that we have but love is what makes us stay together even when the odds look like they are stacked against us. Best of luck to everyone and I hope your loved ones keep turning to the right and come home safely
Thanks Brandie today is alot better daddy is home i can breath now lol.Its when he goes back overseas when it starts not all the time but mostly when he is not offshore.
Anytime...I am glad today is a better for you. Stay strong and enjoy your time with your honey.

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