Ok, I'm new to the website, but not new to being married to a roughneck. I need advice/help...anything...
This is kind of a long story..so here goes..
I've been with my husband a total of 20 years & married for 7 1/2. For the past 1 1/2 years I've been a stay at home mom. We have 3 children (17, 12, 7) and up until the past year (around the same time his company moved rigs from Wyoming to North Dakota) everything was good.
My husband (been a derrickhand/relief driller for 18 years) got laid off for almost 6 months in 2009..because of that we lost our home in Wyoming to foreclosure June 2010. With poor credit, and limited time, finding a rental wasn't easy let alone one that would accept our 3 dogs. I looked and applied from North Dakota (where he drills) to Montana, Idaho, Wyoming and Utah. Nobody would rent to us. 7 days before we had to be out of our home I found a cheap trailer for rent in Cedar City, Utah. (actually a good thing since my sister lived only 1 hour away)
So, we moved in 2 days. Hubby had to get back up to ND by the 4th day, so I was left alone with the kids to unpack. He works 7 on 7 off...but for some reason he decided to take on a 2nd job roustabouting up there on his days off. He told me "I know our marriage is suffering right now, but it's gonna have to go on the back burner, we need to get out of debt." Looking at his decision as a responsible one, I agreed but then when he started getting paid for the 2nd job, he decided to keep all the pay and blow it on himself..and then use up his main pay for necessities. Then before I know it, it's October and he had only been home once in 4 months, and due to come home for the 2nd time. But NO, instead he calls me and says he's going to Idaho with his motorhand to go hunting. This man has never hunted a day in his life...and needless to say he began to treat me awful. Yelling at me on the phone, hanging up on me, ignoring my calls. Just being extremely mean and not like the norm.
He's come home twice since then...but in 7 months he has completely ignored me, treated me like crap when he does talk to me..except when he's home..then it's like nothing ever happened. Until Dec.14th...I had to put his dog down due to cancer, when I finally reached him to tell him..he says, "it's ok..it'll all be alright...I gotta go" and I have not heard from him since then!! He had Christmas off, but didn't come home, didn't call..nothing except a text to me saying "I think we should separate, I need you to be strong for the kids, ok? I'm sorry"...a text to my kids saying, "I know this is confusing and doesn't make sense, but it will all work out, I know it. Tell your mom my paycheck will come home but I won't"... THAT'S IT!!!! He called our 17 yr. old son a couple days ago and said he's gonna come "visit" in a couple weeks...
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? I'm so confused, hurt..my kids are probably worse. This is a man that has always been a hands on dad, goes to parent teacher conferences..even plays Barbies with our youngest...and he just stops all communication with us?
Oh, did I mention that around October they replaced their old worm with a female? And she sleeps at the man camp! And instead of turning HIS phone ON he used her phone to call our son?
WHAT DO I DO?